Whoa. Where did the time go?
Just one year ago, my life was completely different. It feels like I was just learning the news that your mom was pregnant and I was spending my time imagining what it would be like when you arrived into the world. I dreamt of how you would look. Day dreamed about how you would laugh. All my time and energy was consumed with the thought of you. Yet, they didn’t do it justice at all. You are so much more than I could’ve ever dreamed of.
From your moms maternity photos and sharing images of your nursery. (Oh, how I hated putting up that wall paper). To your baby shower and birth. The 40 weeks waiting for your arrival was amazing, terrifying, exciting and somehow so slow and so fast.
Now, this year is even more so. It has gone by in the blink of an eye. Yet some days it feels like you have been here forever. Because what was life like before you?
Who knew that a little peanut like you could change everything. Maybe it is because I didn’t have the stress that new parents often do. Or maybe it is because of the relationship I have with your mom. But whatever it was, the moment you were here, I will never forget the amount of love that poured over me. Nothing else seemed to matter. You were here and I wanted the world to be perfect for you because you are so perfect.
Each day with you has brought me more joy than I could ever articulate. Your laughs, your cries, all of it. I loved when you were a tiny little thing and would do a big ol’ stretch when you woke up. I love that now you are older and saying words and having babbling conversations.
You used to look at me when I held you and get a cute little smirk. Now, you can take steps to me and laugh and say “Auntie”. So much has changed in these last twelve months. But, even with all the growth and development and discoveries I have seen in you, I would say the thing that has changed the most is me.
You have shown me how to feel fully and completely. To be completely filled with joy and beaming when I’m happy and how to be full present and sad when something hurts. You have shown me to take every day one minute at a time. That sometimes you just have to laugh and sometimes you are just surviving. There is something interesting to see, always. And everyone deserves a smile and wave.
Oh, my sweet Emmy.
I love you more than I every thought I could. You are my best friend and the light of my life. Waking up to you pushing open my bedroom door will beat any alarm clock, ever. I cannot wait to see the person you become. I hope you stay as spunky, fiesty, smart, strong and funny as you are now. Because you are the most personality filled one year old there is and you make every day the best day ever.
Never forget how much you are loved.